Analysing The Victor Vs Victim Syndrome In Terms Of Learning And Life
There are some people who seem to breeze through life, rejoicing from one triumph to the next. By contrast, there are others who never quite make it, and always have a reason why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude.
When you move in a new career direction, it’s vital to learn the habits of victors to gain a successful outcome. The victims pursue their actions in a timid manner, hoping for great things, but never really believing they’re worthy of them. Victors commit mentally to a successful result, and use emotion to back their actions.
Take a couple of tennis players about to play a championship game. One says “It’s my last chance – I’ll give it my best efforts,” but the other one says “Winning is my destiny – it’s everything to me.” No prizes for guessing who’ll win the championship. They might both put in the same amount of time, but the victor spends more of it on his mental training to win.
The victim is defined by the word BED – one who stays in bed and gives up. The victor is defined by the word OAR – a figure paddling towards success. BED = Blame, Excuses and Denial. OAR = Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility.
The victor takes responsibility for his or her tasks, and doesn’t hope for someone else to lead the way. He’s accountable for his actions, so takes them seriously, and sees things through by tackling problems not creating them. He doesn’t take excuses from himself and is responsible for the outcome of his actions.
In the victim’s eyes, there’s always a reason why he’s not achieving, and it’s rarely to do with himself. It’s always someone else’s fault – he feels out of control so justifies it by blaming someone else. He makes excuses for his lack of performance, but the only person he’s convincing is himself. With this continual pattern of blame and excuses, the victim lives a life of complete denial, convinced that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about his situation.
Students about to embark on a life-changing training course should give themselves a mental work-out, to prepare for success. Anybody who relates to the victim mentality will have to look at these issues before they start, to take full advantage of the potential in front of them.
Attitudes (both good and bad) are just habits, and with constant repetition, habits can be altered. Pay attention to the voice inside your head – if it sounds like a victim, then stop it dead! Instead, mentally verbalise why you can be successful. No one is any better than you – it’s just that some people have fought their demons and emerged victorious.
To quote Winston Churchill, “There is no such thing as a hero, only those who rise to the occasion”. In learning as well as in life, we must have the attitude of a winner to allow ourselves to become a winner.
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